Tuesday, August 26, 2008
A Year Goes By
Since our cat Burrito went into hopeless kidney failure and had to be put to sleep on a Sunday morning. She had been fighting it with our help for over two years until about a month prior when it started getting worse and we couldn't halt it anymore. One day we just knew it was time and made an appointment. We loved her very much and both sobbed when the vet told us that she had gone too far. We were proud of her for lasting so long. We kissed her goodbye and stayed with her as she fell asleep.

I remember we figured out she had passed the point on a Friday but couldn't get an appointment until Sunday. At the time I was over a week late and quite miserable, praying to go into labor every day. Suddenly that changed and I found myself praying for labor to hold off until the weekend was over. The idea of going into labor and coming back to a dead cat was horrifying.

One week later we had our daughter, while it did ease the pain of the loss we will never forget our sweet little fighter. Especially my husband as she was his cat before we married.

Tomorrow morning we are going on a (long) road trip to Ohio. I doubt I will be blogging until we get back. I will do my best to check blogs to read when I can. Maybe in the car a bit on my husband's new iPhone.
Posted By marissa At 7:17 AM • Trackbacks (0)
Sunday, August 24, 2008
I can feel autumn coming

Deep in Autumn
Originally uploaded by mlee.etsy.com
The weekend was pretty good here in Boston. Good weather, good moods all around for the most part, just social enough, excited about trip, lots of fun exercise. Just good. But yeah, autumn is right around the corner. It is getting darker earlier and the air is starting to change. I don't mind this as autumn is my favorite season, except for the fact that winter follows it.

I've been toying around with the idea of bringing out the book The Artist's Way again and actually completing the twelve week program. I tried it two years ago in August 2006 during one of my seemingly traditional summer creative blocks and even though I did only a small bit of it I found it helpful. But I want it all this time. Originally I was going to wait until we got back from Ohio to start it, but I have the energy and the mindset to do it now so I just went for it. Waking up a half hour early to do the prescribed "morning pages" in my journal and then I went out by myself in what the book calls an "artist date". For me it was jogging. Or attempting to jog. I'm a walker not a runner but I have been wanting to try jogging a bit for awhile now. But running is not something I can safely do while babywearing and we don't own a jogging stroller. So Sunday morning was the perfect time to try it out.

The mistake I made was bringing our lazy dog. She's a frigging greyhound that can go up to 40 miles an hour yet I had to drag her butt along. I ended up mostly speed walking and running here and there for as long as I could stand dragging her. A well behaved and trained dog she is not. Next time I will go it alone sans dog. I really should have known better since these so called dates with creative self are supposed to be solo. But I wanted to do Jon a favor and have the dog walked for him when he woke up. But I tried something different and I feel pretty good about that. Combined with the evening walk I took with Jon and the Wii Fit I just did that should negate the ice cream cone I got right?

I'm not really stressing about art too much right now. Just writing and sketching when I feel like it. Working on myself getting better before I put crushing pressure on myself and blow all my progress. Plus, I have plenty of pieces from early August that haven't even been scanned in yet. So keep looking.

with my cousins at Boston College

messy

My newly messy eater daughter is enjoying the final week of her first year. My cousins were in Boston moving one of them back into her college dorm so we went and saw them. It was gorgeous out so we just hung out on the lawn of the seminary. I haven't seen them since Christmas which is far too long, especially considering she goes to school about thirty minutes away and her parents and brother live less than an hour and a half away. I hope this changes because I like seeing them.
Posted By marissa At 7:15 PM • Trackbacks (0)
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
No, not yet

Marissa and baby
Originally uploaded by mlee.etsy.com
It isn't her birthday yet. But the 21st was her due date! Whoops! Missed that one little girl. That is okay, you came when you were done cooking.

I have to say that despite how low I have been feeling I am super excited about blee's upcoming birthday. I just can't believe it. That is why I have this picture up late at night. Because I was lying in bed and I started thinking about how I should work on her memory box. And this picture and the 113 comments that are attached to it is something that I think belong in her growing box. It took thirteen pages to print it all out!

Next Wednesday we make the drive to Ohio. On Thursday we go to Toledo with my brother in law to see their grandmother. On Friday two friends from Boston who now live in Brooklyn will be in town and we are going to see them. My dad and sister get in on Saturday and I think we will let them get some quality time with the wee one while we go out with my best friend from college. On Sunday a bunch of people will be gathering at my brother in law's place for the party.

Monday we drive home. Tuesday is her actual birthday and it will be a quiet day with just the three of us relaxing. That following Sunday there will be a second party for Boston friends.

Whew!

I'm excited to be having family and friends together next week. Though I know I am going to be exhausted probably about halfway through. Excited about this crazy year we have had with our little princess, and excited about the next year.

Thanks for the positive thoughts my way. I'm working on it.
Posted By marissa At 9:56 PM • Trackbacks (0)
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
Experimentaion On Hold

Print/ Drawing Hybrid
Originally uploaded by mlee.etsy.com
Last Friday during one of my walks I picked a number of leaves to use in Monotype printing that night or over the weekend. Today those leaves sit all dried up and useless on a shelf.

I just didn't want to do it I guess. By the time I had a chance to print the inspiration and motivation was gone. I don't really know what to do at this point. Maybe I will do more things like this and alter unfinished prints by hand. What do you think? It is something that I can do a lot more casually than printing. And to be quite honest Monotype printing does not come naturally for me and makes me quite nervous. It is hard for me to relax and just go with it as I put a lot of pressure on myself to make something good right off the bat.

Maybe I am just going crazy. Things that happened over the weekend that should leave me feeling empowered and positive have the opposite effect. I just don't know what is wrong with me anymore. This has been going on for six months now. My longest depression I can remember. Probably since my senior year in college.

In brighter news we are going to Ohio to celebrate blee's birthday with family the Wednesday before Labor Day weekend. My inlaws, my dad and his crew, my best friend from college and maybe even some Etsy people will all be there. I can't believe my little girl is turning one. She is the light that I cling to these days when my art is dark and vacant. She's just great. I couldn't have asked for a more joy filled baby. I'm truly blessed to have her in my life. I don't know how I can feel so bad when I have something so wonderful. Jon is wonderful as well. Every morning he takes her with him to walk the dog and I just think it is the sweetest thing seeing him carrying her in his baby pouch sling as I sleepily open my eyes in the morning.

Anyhow, that is it for today. Maybe it is wrong for me to be so open in my blog but I just can't help it. I hope everybody reading this is having a better day than I am and has a fabulous week. Who knows, maybe mine will turn around. I'm trying.
Posted By marissa At 9:55 AM • Trackbacks (0)
Thursday, August 14, 2008
Poppies in the Night

Poppies in the Night
Originally uploaded by mlee.etsy.com
New stuff is continuing to enter my shop a few pieces a day. Including this piece.

But I have been in an art slump every since finishing up that custom and printing new work. I've even been slow to scan in and upload many of those pieces. I decided to start journaling again and I came to a decision that it is time for me to step away from what I know and do some playing with art. For me that means monotypes of some sort. So today and tomorrow I will be brainstorming and I think collecting some leaves for stencils and on Saturday or Sunday I will lock myself in my studio and have some fun. Dammit!

It hasn't been easy because on top of everything blee isn't her normal easy going self. She's constipated and pretty darn cranky about it. Other than feed her certain fruits and give her plenty of water there isn't much I can do other than wear her a lot and ride this rough patch out. And that is exactly what I did this morning when she couldn't be soothed by any means other than putting her in our gorgeous and snuggly Zidee pod and going for a long walk with a friend. Worked like a charm, and for about an hour or two after getting home as well.

I'm planning on purging a few carriers in the near future but the Zidee isn't going anywhere. As she grows it just gets better and better. Learning how to wrap her on my back has made using the pod a snap. Here, have some cuteness and have a great weekend! Hopefully come Monday I will have some interesting work. It doesn't have to be great it just has to be free and experimental.

snug as a bug
Posted By marissa At 12:34 PM • Trackbacks (0)
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
modeling letdown

too late
Originally uploaded by mlee.etsy.com
There was a call for models at this high end sling company in NYC that I heard about over the weekend. It was for the end of August so I knew that I was entering late and my chances were slim. But it was an excuse to get nice photos taken.

Well as soon as the skies cleared my friend with a D-SLR camera went out with me and took some photos. Among around 300 there were about 10 or 12 good ones and this spectacular one. (I need to start saving for a D-SLR as of yesterday)

Of course as soon as we get home an email is waiting for me saying that the modeling positions are full at this time. That they would love to use my photos in their gallery and will keep me in mind for the future. But no free expensive Psling for me this month. That is okay, could it possibly get any better than this one that I already have? I like this photo a lot.

I'm still listing new art on Etsy at a somewhat sluggish pace considering how much I have to put up. The custom and another order have been mailed out and I'm not quite sure what to do with myself artistically. When in doubt cut collage paper or tear printmaking paper. Or maybe even do some carving! I have a block I need to finish. Sketching sounds good too.

Oh and did I mention that blee is finally crawling? Eep! Now the fun really begins.


Posted By marissa At 6:11 PM • Trackbacks (0)
Wednesday, August 06, 2008
Even the rain

want
Originally uploaded by mlee.etsy.com
When a dreary rainy day doesn't keep me from enjoying my day that is when I know that I am doing better. Unfortunately with the sporadic storms we had to keep our walks brief but still enjoyable. And it least it wasn't hot out. And a new friend of mine, a SAHM that lives a few blocks away, came over for lunch with her sweet little boy. I have my work to keep me busy but having some sort of social activity during the day really helps me stay sane.

This is the two of us in a long woven wrap that I purchased months ago but could never get the hang of a back carry until today. I'm still no master with it but I will keep at it because it is very comfortable and I just love the material. If it doesn't work I will probably have it cut up and turned into a podagi (Korean inspired carrier). Blee looks like a total ghost baby in this picture, but she actually has a bit of color these days despite my lathering her up with sunscreen and covering her with a hat and sometimes even a parasol. But compared to me she will always be my little white girl. Especially since I have gotten quite a nice tan this summer with all the walking we've been doing.

Aug32008DragonflySummer.jpgSummertime

Still scanning in and listing work from the weekend at a good pace. I also am re-organizing some files on my computer in an attempt to get organized and to get some high-res images over to the Flashbags ladies for a new line of my work. That is something on my task list for Thursday.

The weekend is coming up, not soon enough. Enjoy it.
Posted By marissa At 7:39 PM • Trackbacks (0)
Sunday, August 03, 2008
Yay! Complete!
Fall Leaves Originally uploaded by mlee.etsy.com
Monday is here and I had quite the productive weekend, well Sunday at least. I am pleased to say that I not only got the custom order I have been working on for the past month finished but I printed a bunch of other new stuff at the same time. The prints that I started last week are now done and I am working on getting them scanned in, uploaded and listed on Etsy. I've been neglecting Etsy lately but this month is going to be different, starting with new piece, and followed by many more. I have a busy week ahead of me that will hopefully include finishing a collage, putting artwork up on Flickr and Etsy and getting back into regular blogging. But for now I am going to do some Wii Fit yoga and then go to bed. Here are my custom pieces for the seasons spring through winter. July13SpringCustom.jpgAug32008SummerCustom.jpg Aug32008FallCustom.jpgWinter - Custom
Posted By marissa At 7:19 PM • Trackbacks (0)
Monday, July 28, 2008
Waking Up

Waiting for the Dusk
Originally uploaded by mlee.etsy.com
I'm a little nervous because this morning I woke up early with pretty bad eye problems. I was in quite a bit of pain for about a half hour, not that I could look at a clock to see how long I just lay in bed with my eyes closed waiting for it to pass so I could go back to sleep. This may have happened because last week in a desperate attempt to get some energy back I took that medication again. Except I did that early last week and only did it once. I should probably call my doctor and get my eyes looked at just in case if this keeps happening. It hurts a lot. I'm lucky it was better by the time Jon left for work because I would have a hard time caring for blee with this kind of pain that made it hard to see.

Some of you may remember when I kept a list of seven simple tasks to complete during my day. I got out of the habit months ago and think it would be best for me to get back into it. So here is my list for today. I have laundry done and with this blogging will be as well. If she lets me I will soon break out the Wii Fit and do some yoga. This way at the end of the day I can feel a sense of accomplishment and am properly motivated, even if I don't do everything on the list.

1) diapers
2) tidy studio
3) print
4) yoga
5) blog
6) put away clothes
7) dinner

Hope everybody had a good weekend. Ours was busy. On Saturday I started off with a dental appointment and then went to lunch with friends before heading to the MFA to see an exhibit we were given tickets to before it ended on Sunday. On Sunday we had a birthday picnic to go to and had dinner with an old friend from high school that found me via Facebook. Turns out she lives just a few minutes from our place. Funny how things work out like that.

Have a good one!
Posted By marissa At 7:32 AM • Trackbacks (0)
Thursday, July 24, 2008
exhaustion
Checking in after a week long absence. I'm just having a heck of a time keeping up with blogging. Even when blee does give me time I find my energy level so low I have a hard time forming words for a post.

I think I need to get back on some sort of a schedule. Or at least have a short goal list for the day. I'm so much more productive when I do and I feel a sense of accomplishment at the end of the day. I think I was doing seven things awhile back? Right now even when I do produce something I don't feel much satisfaction from it. It is like it doesn't count. It is hard to describe.

Yesterday I printed during a naptime. Got a lot of printing done actually, but it doesn't feel like I did because nothing got finished. It was just about building layers. Now I need to go back today or tomorrow and add two or three more. I should feel good as the prints turned out nice, but I don't. The custom order is 3/4 finished and I should feel good about that but I just feel anxious about getting it done. Is this depression? This inability to be happy.

maple leaves

cleanup
Posted By marissa At 9:51 AM • Trackbacks (0)
Friday, July 18, 2008
Almost a mini-vacation
Spent yesterday at the beach in Ipswich, MA for a company picnic. Ate mussles and lobster and took a nice stroll down the sandy beach, just dipping my toes in the clear cool water.

My eyes aren't perfect, but they are doing better. As for the rest of me, well the good things about the medication are gone too and I feel it, some days more than others. I'm not sure where to go from here.

One thing that is important is to get back to work and get back to working out as well. With all the eye problems I didn't use the Wii Fit or walk much for a week. But I am back to walking and Wii Fitting most days of the week now. I waited too long to go for a walk today because now it is too hot outside to enjoy a stroll around the pond. I have to do that early! But I did Wii Fit so I got some activity in.

I have to go be a mom now. Maybe I will have some free time to catch up on blogs, make art and other things for me if she decides to nap today. She could use one already!

Have a great weekend.

In the Forest

It's Just French
Posted By marissa At 5:57 AM • Trackbacks (0)